A message from Eli Hill

A Day in the Life of Supporting End-of-Life Care

Many people ask me, "What exactly does an end-of-life doula do?" It is a resoundingly common and fair question. This role is still new to many families, though it's an ancient practice of companionship and support during life's final transition.

Let me take you through what a typical day might look like, so you know a bit more about what to expect when we work together.

Creating comfort

My day often consists of many home, hospital or nursing home visits. I might arrive to find a patient who had a difficult night, or a family member who's exhausted from caregiving. My first priority is always assessing immediate needs. Is the patient comfortable? Does the family need a break? Sometimes it's as simple as adjusting pillows, opening curtains or blinds to let in natural light, holding a hand, or playing soft music that brings peace to the room.

I spend time talking with the patient if they're able, about their life, their worries, or simply about the weather. Sometimes the most powerful support is just being present, sitting quietly together and listening with true care and concern. I always strive to create and hold a space of dignity, support and heart-centered care, for each patient and their family members. 

Practical support

End-of-life care involves more than medical needs. Families often feel overwhelmed by practical decisions and logistics. I help navigate these practical matters by coordinating with the hospice team, explaining what to expect in the coming days, or helping family members understand their loved one's wishes.

I might help a daughter write down her mother's favorite stories, or assist with talking through advance directives. Sometimes I’m tidying and organizing a patient's immediate bedside space, other times I'm simply making tea and giving a caregiver encouragement to rest. 

Family guidance

One of my most important roles is supporting the family. I create space for difficult conversations, help siblings communicate about their parent's care, or guide children in saying goodbye in age-appropriate ways. Grief doesn't wait until after death. It begins long before, and families need support through every difficult step. 

I also help families create meaningful moments like planning a small celebration, gathering loved ones for a final visit, or setting up video calls with distant relatives. I can also help in planning and executing many types of legacy projects. 

Vigil support

When someone is actively dying, I may stay for vigil support, helping families understand what's happening, encouraging them to speak to their loved one, and ensuring no one feels alone in those sacred hours.

What I am not able to do

It's important to note that I'm not a medical provider. I work alongside the hospice nursing and psychosocial team. I don't administer medications or provide medical advice. My role is to complement the clinical care with specialized emotional and practical support.

Every family's experience is unique, and I adapt to what you need most. Some families want daily support while others need me only at critical moments. Some want help with legacy projects while others simply need someone who can listen and hold space. 

My goal is to help you feel less alone, more prepared, and more present during this important time. No one should navigate this journey alone and without support. 

If you have questions about how an end-of-life doula can support your family, I'm always here to talk.

With compassion, 

Eli Hill, Certified End-of-Life Doula

Valor Hospice